feeling naked...

Those that know me, know how attached I am to my iphone.  I have been without it for 5 hours.  5 hours, and I am feeling naked!!!!!  I am having a hard time adjusting.  I think I may be a tad bit addicted to it.

I took my phone in to get the screen fixed this morning.  They ran into problems and I still do not have it back.  I am afraid to pick it up; afraid of what it will look like (they were also going to change the color).  Afraid it will not work the way it did before I took it in.

I will be picking it up soon.  My fingers are crossed that I will love it just as before, even if she does look a little different.

it gathers dust...

My camera has been gathering dust for about a month now.

Today was the 1st day, since I decided  to stop taking photos, that I had a pang of jealousy (no worries to my dear friends, I will still take your pictures if/when you want me).

I know it was the right choice to walk away; family time has taken a great hold on me than the desire to create.

Back to my pang and how it started:  I stumbled across this photographers web site and as I scrolled past each image, I began to wish I was still capturing life for others.

Not sure if it was her photos, her editing or just the fact it's been a while since I have looked at pictures; but something really moved in me.  Gave me hope that maybe, just maybe, I will pick up my camera down the road (way down the road).

For now, I have to be ok with the choice that I made.  I have to remember the reasons I took this new path. I have to be satisfied with where I am right now.  I may wish and dream that I was creating images that make me drool or squeal in delight. I may also type a few more "jealous" posts down the road.  Because, right now I am just trying to adjust to a life without my camera in hand.

just playing...

Had a few free moments and decided to play around with PicMonkey.  Hope I can find some more time to dig deeper into that site.

5.28.12...

I have been feeling under the weather for a few days.

Griffin made this little "get well" sign for me.  Brought tears to my eyes when I saw it.  How can I not get better with love like this?

cross that one off my list....

This weekend I crossed an item off my "2012 wish list", I ran my 1st 10K.

A few of my "running buddies" and I have been training for this run for a while.  On Saturday we all loaded up and head up north for our girls running adventure.

We made it through the boarder and found our way to BC Place to pick up our running bibs.  We found matching shirts we all loved; we were officially a team.

The weather was great so we decided to walk into town for a little sight seeing and some dinner.

After dinner we, ok I ,was craving a cup cake, we found a cute little store and everyone decided to have one.  Mine was gross and was tossed after 3 bites; even though I only had a few bites, my tummy was not happy; the other ladies also didn't feel their best after treat.  Sorry ladies.

After a long and sleepless night for myself, it was time to wake up, shower and try to get some food in my tummy.   Not an easy thing to do when you feel like throwing up.  I had worked myself into a mess.

We decided to walk to the start line and it was the best thing we could have done.  With each step I began to feel much better and it was a good way to warm the body up.

It was amazing to see 49,000+ people standing there to run this race.  It really got me pumped up and excited.  It was freezing and was hard to wait 45 to start the race after the 1st of the runners had started. But finally it was our turn to step over that line and start.

I was amazed to see when I hit the 1st mile; I felt great and could not believe the 1st mile was behind me.  I did tear up a few times just looking around at the beautiful scenery and the amount of people running; I am a sap.

As I came up to the 7k mark I had to look twice.  Am I really that far?  How could I be almost done?  I never had the runners block I usually have; I was still loving each stride I was taking.  I was pretty happy at this point.

As the finish line came into view, I really got excited.  I put on my "finish" song and just enjoyed the last few mins of this race.  I am pretty sure I crossed the finish line with a smile on my face.  Once I started walking, it really began to sink in, I just finished my goal, I ran a 10k without stopping.  Did I really just do this????

Thats when the tears started to fill my eyes.  I had to push them down, to many people around, i didn't want to walk around trying to find my "team" while I cried my eyes out.  I was just so happy.  Besides giving birth, doing this race was the best thing I have ever done.  I was in awe of what I just did.

So proud of all of us!!!!!!  Cant wait for our next adventure.

goodie bags and hot chocolate...

The morning may not have started out the way I would have liked, but the afternoon has made up for it.  

Goodie bags, hot chocolate, girl talk and sitting in the sun will make any bad day a good one.

craft time...

I finally did a craft project ~ thank you Pinterest!!!!

My new obsession is mason jars.  I have some big plans for these cute little jars this summer.  Fingers are crossed the sun will come out and I will have the time to have lots of BBQ's and friend time on my deck.  I do have a back up plan if Mother Nature does not turn the heat up, I have my eye on a outdoor heater.  My deck is one of my favorite places to hang out; if I had a heater I can enjoy it for many more days/nights.

My soul feels good tonight.  I was able to spend some great quality time with my very good friend Tracy, finally got my body moving and did a run today, I am one day closer to getting my car back (i am enjoying my rental car though).

Tomorrow is my Friday; I hope to try a new trail run on Friday after my photo shoots; Easter looks like it may be nice, getting excited to have an egg hunt outside with the boys.  All is great at this moment.

happy day...

It's a happy day for two reasons:

1.  I found these yummy beach towels (bright colors and polk-a-dots make me one happy girl), now i just have to find some sunshine.

2.  My friend Tracy has landed in Seattle; I am counting down the hours till I get to see her; super, duper excited right now.

Weekend was great; relaxing with my little guy; egg hunt with amazing friends, dinner and drinks with two of the best ladies I know (S&S you make me happy); in the middle of a Pintrest project and thinking of my next layout.

The past few weeks I have slowed down a bit and reflected on what I hold important in my life.  Doing less photography has given me the opportunity to spend more time with my family and appreciate my little business more.  I look forward to less sessions, but more satisfaction from them.  

I want to use this time away from taking pictures to re-connect with friends.  I am lucky to have several great ladies in my life, I just need to make a deeper connection with them.  I have also started to think about projects that I want to complete around the house.  The list is huge, but I will tackle one item at a time and appreciate what I can get done and not dwell on what I still need to do.  The home will always be a work in progress; enjoying the little things will make me love my home again.

And on a side note I think I am raising my son's right.  I hold the responsibility of having boys very close to my heart.  I need to raise gentlemen who will love and appreciate women.  Today, as we are leaving a restaurant at lunch, my youngest opens the door and says "ladies first", wow, he blew me away.

that's why i am a blog girl...

Today I went with Griffin to the writers workshop in Skagit Valley.  Listening to the different presenters, I saw a theme with them, they each kept a journal at some point in their life.

I am not a journal type of gal.  I tried in the past, but never made it past day two.  For me, writing takes to long, my penmanship gets messy, and I don't find it convenient to write my thoughts down.  I started to feel like I was missing something by not keeping a journal but than and remembered I blog!

This is my way to preserve my life and the day to day things my boys do.  A way for my children to get to know me, and a bit of their childhood, through my words.  I may not "journal" everyday, but I think I blog enough for those two little guys to understand who I am/was and re-live some memories they may have forgotten out of time.

Blogging is convenient for me (thanks to my wonderful smart phone), there is spell check to help me out, and the typing font never gets sloppy.  It's a perfect match for me.

random things...

I am so tired i don't think I can sleep; have you ever experienced that???

Maybe if I post about a few "random" things that will put me to sleep.  Here is some useless information about my life:

I have over 403 emails on my phone that I need to clean out (I cleaned it out a little over a week ago)

I am still horrible at calling people on the phone

The first thing I do when I get to work is check my FaceBook

I am becoming more high maintenance as I age

There are 4 books on my night stand right now ~ and I am reading them at the same time, plus listening to one audio book as well

I usually hit my snooze button 4 times each morning

I discovered Lush products while on vacation and I am an addict now

I purchased paint months ago for my bathroom but as of yet, have not painted a wall

I lost my mojo a few years ago, not sure how to get it back 

I swear way to much

I need a partner to do yard work or it will not get done

Thats all my tired mind can thing of; off to sleep (I hope)

calm...

This is the first word that popped into my head that describes my feeling at this very moment.

My soul is happy.  My body is at rest.  I don't have a "to do" list that I have to get done.  No edits. No house work. No bills to pay.  No lunches to make.  Nothing.

The day to day "things" make me feel normal and overwhelmed at the same time.  I love the chance to step away from life for a while and rediscover me.  Rediscover new things to do with my family.  Enjoy the peace of curling up with a new book and getting lost in the characters.

I am completely calm and I am loving every second of it, grateful that I have this opportunity to enjoy it.

it was not that bad...

I think I have become a little high maintenance in the past few years.

I feel the need to get a pedi at least once a month.

I had an addiction to higher end purses.

And now I can add monthly eye brow waxing to the mix.

The pain that I experienced today was not that bad and the end result was well worth a little discomfort.  Who would have known I would of turned into such a diva =)

To ground myself, I filled out Carson's paperwork for Kindergarten this evening.  I have had the packet for over a week but didn't want to think of my baby in school.  There will be perks to him attending school but I need to slowly ease my way into this transition.  He is my last; I have to savor every step.

to wax or not to wax....

I chickened out on my leg waxing for tomorrow.  I just couldn't stand growing my hair out for weeks or the thought of the amount of pain that comes with the process.

So, I think I will start off small and do my eyebrows ~ life is all about baby steps, right.

The last time I had my brows waxed, about 15 years ago, my skin was burned; it was not pretty.

I wish for beautiful shaped brows; each hair the perfect shape and in the perfect place.  In reality I bet I will see little change.  Lifes about taking risks.  This is about the biggest risk I want to take during my life at this time.

day after Christmas ....

Means new stuff from this place. Another reason I love being a girl.

don't forget to smile...

We can forget to smile this time of year.  It's a bit crazy out there with all the people shopping and on the roads (or parking lot ~ wow they are full).  But if you smile the stress can melt away.

Be happy!

On a different note, i have started writing my "hawaii bucket list".  It will be small but very doable.  I am looking forward to marking each item off my list.  Making this list has put a smile on my face today.  It's the simple things that make me happy.

friday...

My first free and alone Friday in a long, long time.  Since nothing is open yet to start some shopping, I am hanging out at Starbucks, enjoying my hot chocolate, some loud Christmas music and 3 free hours.  

Lets see how far I get on a photo book I just started.

Since I don't edits I am unsure of what I should do with my time.  Photography has taken up more of my life that I realized.  I am having a hard time adjusting to this "down time".  I feel a bit off.  Hope this feeling passes soon.

This afternoon is jam packed with baking and cleaning.  So I better enjoy the time I have right now.

for me, this is HUGE....

Today I ran my first 5k without stopping!!!!!

I never, ever, ever thought that I could or would do this.  When I was younger I was in track, but only was a sprinter, never a long distance runner.  I wonder what I could have achieved if I would have pushed myself at a young age. Others may not think running 3.1 miles is a thing to brag about, but for me, this is HUGE.  I overcame that little voice in my head that said "no way, just stop now".  I hope she has left for good.

I am happy to say that I can push myself at my old age and great things can come from it.  I trained with some of the best ladies I know.  We motivated each other, celebrated each small step along the way and listened to each others fears. I could have never done this race without them ~ thank you ladies.

The day before the race, Jen, Mary and I did a little pre-race getting ready.  We had our nails painted; I think the red made us move faster.

After everyone crossed the finish line and we did our little "we finished and we are cool" dances we headed to get some food.  Yummy breakfast at Little Cheerful.

And if the finishing the race was not enough, i received the icing on the cake when I came home from the store this evening.  Randy had put up Christmas lights on the back deck.  This has made me happier than anything that i have ever received (dramatic I know).  It warmed my heart that he remember that i wanted this done and that he did it as a surprise.  I can't wait to get these babies on a timer so i can enjoy them all year long and not have to go out in the cold to turn them off.

Trying to remember...

To have a little fun like Frankie the Elf.

Have to remember to live life in the moment, and remember, even if I am having a bad day, it can always be worse.

I am able to move, my kids are healthy and safe, I am surrounded by great people.  Who knows what tomorrow holds, life can change in a moment.  I will savor where I am right now.

Thanks Frankie ~ you have taught me a great thing.

i may be in trouble here....

For those that know me really well, they know that I have an obsession with taking pictures of certain things (feet, Mini O, myself, etc.).  This post is about photos of myself.  And for the record I took them when I was sober (very, very sad)

On most days I hate the way I look; but I try to find something I like and remind myself it could be worse.  I could get in an accident and be disfigured.  I could make up with some strange ailment that makes my skin bubble and fall off.  I can be dramatic at times.

My new laptop  has a built in camera.  When you combine me, a lack of motivation to do real work and a camera, I think you get disaster.

Here are a few that I took as I tried to ignore the work that is staring at me.  I ask myself "why do I post these".  Can't keep all the funny pictures to myself.  Plus gives my mom and dad a chance to see what I look like, it's been a while since they left and we have yet to video chat.  (miss you guys xoxoxo)

i am so happy....

To see last week go bye, bye.

It was a hard one for me.  Lots of tears, little running and a bit to much "comfort" food for this lady.

I have several projects swirling around in my head; I need to get them down on paper (or at least a list on my phone).  Once they are down, I can let them go and focus on the tasks at hand that need to be completed soon.  Once 2012 hits, you can find me completing as many projects as my body and bank account can handle.

Two things I did manage to get crossed off my list this week; finished up my book club book (great story) and purchased my "elf on the shelf" book.  The boys are pretty excited to have December 1 hit our home.

I must get back to work, I have some fun plans for Friday.  If I don't make a dent on the edits I have left, I will not be able to enjoy the relaxation that is scheduled.