what will they remember....

If I were to die today I would want my boys to understand how much I loved them.

Words can never express the true feeling I have for them. I let life get in the way of showing them what I feel. I ache to think that if I left them today, they would not remember me. They would not remember the way I kissed their foreheads before bed; the way I would kiss away the tears as they rolled down their face when they were hurt; the way I would cuddle and smell their hair when I needed some extra love.

Would they remember what I looked like; how I felt when I hugged them? Would they remember that I yelled at them to many times or said "no" when I really wanted to say yes?

If I were to die today, I hope they remember how I loved them. My life began the moment I felt them inside of me, the moment I held them for the first time. If I die today, a part of me will forever be here in them and the families I hope they one day make.

I have no words to describe the love I feel for you Griffin and Carson; if you ever read this please remember I love you.